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{start}

We, as me. we stand before
You. The world lacking

We and I. meaning me
seen here meaning.

I stand before you
Lacking.


All the things. you think
Perfectly. Lacking

So beautifully when to see.
Writers sit hacking.

Away at Keys. Give we
Lacking

Carpal tunnel. no. a new
Generations Slacking.

Like the fingers. you hear
Clicking-comma-clacking.

Till you're fingers. All slacken
Lacking


A need for me. You stand. with I
Lacking


We. as me. we stand before
You. The world lacking

We and I. meaning me
seen here meaning.

I stand before you
Lacking.


Worlds though not. me and you
With missing parts of thought. tracking

What may not be not. Needed
With a forth double you. lead line whining

Another one is. The red wine
Lacking.


Periods. school ones. line ones.
Month ones. stacking

On days. like lines. punctuated
Now I. allowing

Only a singe mark such writing. my
Lacking.


Blood for. Others still need something.
Lacking


Knifes sharps. and razors
For hacking.

Bullets guns. and grazers
For backing

Words. Sharp tongues and vocalizers
Fort Lacking.


So. then. easily pierced.
Armor. Breaking

So someone’s. harmer
Gets lost smacking.

So many. nails. stick out
they are bleeding.


Me. dry. as we stand before
You. The world lacking

Me and I. meaning we
seen here meaning.

I stand before you
Lacking. a

{finish}
©2005-2009 ~EpoCALYPsE
:iconepocalypse:

Author's Comments

how i feel about most things... its not like this.

i don't think i know how to write happy poetry...

Comments


love 0 0 joy 0 0 wow 0 0 mad 0 0 sad 0 0 fear 0 0 neutral 0 0
:iconnaej:
Whoa. Stop-and-start poetry... I have not seen much. But good method nonetheless. The themes and motives weren't drilled in harshly, but kind of put out there to observe at one's leisure. Great job on not forcing what you're trying to say. Odd rhythm and rhyme scheme, but I guess that accentuates the points of the poem. Not a redundant word in there, except "lacking", but that's on purpose, and I hardly noticed it without looking for it.

Great work, and much shorter, too. ;) :+fav:
:iconepocalypse:
thanks a lot, and thanks for the fav, and hey just cause one is long doesn't mean anothers not short ;)

--
Life is like a straight line... but with curves.
Non Sequiam, Non Serviam.
Non Vi, Sed Verbo.
[link]
"I imagine if you understand morse code a tap dancer must drive you crazy"
~Mitch Hedberg RIP:(
:iconwarhammer89:
I smiled reading this, it's really really good. I can't pick a favourite line, but you have found your voice. Would you do me the favour of looking at my poetry?? I'd love to get critique from you :)
:iconepocalypse:
thanks a lot! i checked out some of your poems and commented on evicted emmotions. it is very good

--
Life is like a straight line... but with curves.
Non Sequiam, Non Serviam.
Non Vi, Sed Verbo.
[link]
"I imagine if you understand morse code a tap dancer must drive you crazy"
~Mitch Hedberg RIP:(
:iconmeeenda:
it's so original. I really like the use of loads of puctuation marks; it makes the reader stop and start and stop and start....i enjoyed reading it :D

--
queen of crime
:iconepocalypse:
thank you very much, i try :D

--
Life is like a straight line... but with curves.
Non Sequiam, Non Serviam.
Non Vi, Sed Verbo.
[link]
"I imagine if you understand morse code a tap dancer must drive you crazy"
~Mitch Hedberg RIP:(
:iconhoneybomb:
to me.. this has a beat. the way it reads.. I can hear it as a song...
I am sure that makes no sense to anyone else.. :P
Very original!
:iconlovingthedark:
Trust me, happy poetry is boring. This is stunning.
I had to read it aloud in order to comprehend it at all, and my little brother thinks I've lost my mind. True enough. I hope its where I left it.
:glomp: Good job.

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July 2, 2005
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